hOMe yoga

May 29, 2010

Give it away, give it away now…

Posted by myhomeyoga under Uncategorized
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One of my favorite books for children is KnuffleBunny by newly minted Pioneer Valley neighbor Mo Willems. This book has nothing to do with this post other than that when I was thinking of how to explain my recent moment of clarity, I was reminded of my favorite illustration in the book. The heroine Trixie is depicted with a face of eye-popping terror when she REALIZES that she has lost something – in this case, her beloved stuffed bunny. I wish I could have found the picture to post, but alas, the internet has failed me on that one.

But I digress. Back to the non sequitur at hand….I had a Trixie moment. I REALIZED something. I am not having as much fun anymore as a yoga teacher. I was asking people to pay for yoga, but after a while, this began to seem misaligned with how I spent the rest of my professional and volunteer time. I am a fundraiser. I am loud and proud about asking people to give money for causes I love, and I work professionally as a philanthropic advisor to help people figure out the best way to give their money away for good causes.

In my free time, however, I was running a for-profit enterprise bringing yoga to corporate and private clients at quite a nice rate of pay. I felt no qualms about charging appropriately for my time as a professional. After all, I had excellent training and unique experience as an organizational psychologist that made me very well-qualified to help people and companies with work life balance.

But I was losing my passionate connection to the yoga practice that had saved me from burnout and imbalance. I was not psyched about helping the investment guy get his downward dog on.

So, I am going out of business. And into the business of giving it away for free. The great thing is that I can be very choosy about whom to share my yoga teaching with now that it’s a part of my seva practice, or my selfless service.

So, for anyone reading this who works with organizations whose employees serve the greater good and who are probably underpaid and stressed, call me. I will be glad to bring them some workplace yoga. Or, if your organization wants to bring yoga to women and girls who would not have the chance to take yoga otherwise, call me. My Spanish is OK, and I could probably muddle through a bilingual class if needed.

I have no fear about closing this chapter of my business life. I have some new projects that I am involved in which will take care of the livelihood thing, and this will give me a really cool, fun way to give back to others.

Pay it forward today and find a way to bring your unique talents to someone who needs them.

Love, jai!

April 2, 2010

Ahisma and Bullying

Posted by myhomeyoga under Ahisma
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I have been stunned this past week to see my community in the news for something negative: bullying. When criminal charges were brought against several local students who are accused of harassing a young woman who tragically took her own life, the case was propelled into the national media. This child was the victim of relentless, horrible bullying by her schoolmates, and the resulting tragedy has shocked our community. A story like this hits home to many people who might easily imagine their own child falling victim to such violence and cruelty, or perhaps they remember their own high school days and the culture of meanness that can allow children to treat others violently, whether psychological or physical.

Since it’s the also the second tragic death of a youth in our community under these circumstances, it inspires a uniquely strong sense of helplessness and anger. These emotions have welled up since the charges were brought against the youths involved, and it has provoked a round of finger pointing at the adults who may have been aware of what was happening, but who may not have done what was needed to intervene before it was too late.

My heart goes out to the parents and friends of the Prince family. I can not even imagine how it must be for them to have their daughter’s personal tragedy become fuel for the media. I do hope this story inspires parents everywhere to have the challenging discussions that must happen with our children about ahisma (non-violence in word or deed.)

Typically, I practice ahisma with my children in small ways that are easy to talk about. We try to not smoosh spiders who visit our house; instead we kindly remove them to the outdoors. We work to reduce or eliminate play that involves pretend violence, even though they love those light sabers! I have my two young boys sit back to back when brotherly disputes turn physical. Once they are seated back to back, we engage in active listening that allows them to slow down the cycle of wanting to whack someone and forces them to hear each others side of the dispute. This often works like a charm to diffuse the situation.There is something magic about having to sit close to someone so you can hear them and feel their breath moving. It just makes you less angry.

I know that it is easy for violence to creep into all our lives. It may be easier to fight against this force when our children are young, but I still do worry about what happens when my boys leave home for school or sports. I think that Phoebe’s story reminds us that you have to practice awareness EVERY day of how violence affects and what we can do to stop it.

February 3, 2010

It’s February. Do you know where your resolutions are?

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Yes, it has actually been a month and a few days since you made the New Year’s Resolution. Do you need to issue an APB on those good intentions?

My own resolution alert level elevated to orange after reading some good advice on diet from journalist Michael Pollan. Author of The Omnivore’s Dilemma, Pollan has become a big name in the health scene thanks to his pithy, almost haiku-like advice to American eaters. This Foodie-Yoda proclaims that we should: “Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants.” or “If it came from a plant, eat it; if it was made in a plant, don’t.”

I am inexorably drawn to any food shaped like a tiny Teddy Bear. Graham crackers, gummies, whatever. I assume Mr. Pollan would frown upon such snacking. He also reminds us not to eat mindlessly as we work or drive. Another problem for me. Though I had resolved in January to enjoy my meals fully, chew every bite to maximize digestion, and breathe between bites, I have not been successful at keeping the intention alive. The other night, my husband watched in horror as I devoured a burrito in a rapid fire gulp-fest after I came home from a long day at work where I ate little and barely had time to pee. Not good.

The frightening thought is that I am probably far better off than most Americans with my diet of mostly whole grain, low fat foods. I belong to an amazing local CSA. I make my child’s school lunches rather than relying on the school lunch program. I know my arse from a brussell sprout and know what to do with garlic scapes.

But what about the rest of us? Working in philanthropy, I am fully aware that hunger and food-insecurity is on the rise in America. I know that families living in poverty or even those stuggling in middle-class working families can’t even dream of heeding Pollan’s advice to cook more, eat organic, shop at famer’s markets and avoid processed foods. The foods on his naughty list are often the cheapest and most accessible.

It is possible that Pollan’s advice is elitist and a tad unrealistic in today’s America. Even still, I hope he will spark a debate on how we can make fresh, healthy foods available to every community, not just the Whole Food shoppers.

So, I am going to lay off the cookies tonight and try to reboot my New Year’s Resolution to eat more mindfully. I hope your February reboot works for you, too.

December 13, 2009

Satya and Santa

Posted by myhomeyoga under Truth | Tags: Satya |
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I listened to a wonderfully fun story on the radio the other day about Santa and possible scientific explanations for his “magic.” It was nerdy and fantastic as only NPR can be, and my son loved hearing about how Santa employs warp drive to get around the world in his sleigh. As I encouraged his admiration of Santa, I began to think about the practice of Satya (to honor and tell the truth) and how to do this during a season filled with socially acceptable lying.

I have young children. My fellow parents and I tell whoppers about Santa every day at this time of year. With a few exceptions among some parents I know, this doesn’t tilt our moral compass a bit. As children we were subject to the same tales told to us by our own parents, so it seems harmless. Still, it presents obvious inconsistencies with what most of us were taught about lying. I was raised in a Catholic household, and there was no lack of clarity on the rules about lying. Still, my parents supported the story of Santa along with the parents of all my friends. So, I guess it was one of those lies that is harmless, right?

If the church teaches us “thou shall not tell a lie,” how is it that we’re all so comfortable letting tall tales fly about the man in the red suit and his reindeer? I consulted the source of all moral absolutes and checked the Catholic Answer Forum whose apologist offered this convenient rationalization: “It is not lying to create stories for young children. That is basically what is done when parents tell their children of imaginary creatures such as the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy. From the beginning of time parents have spun such tales for the entertainment and education of their children. Rather than “lying,” it can be considered “myth-making.”

It may seem innocuous when you just call it a story, but if you think about the power of myth, semi-religious superstition and story-telling in a culture, the question gets more juicy. Just looking at over 200 responses to a recent article in the NYTimes on traditional faiths, fantasy and mythology hints at the nerve that is touched when we are called out on our comfort level with what the columnist called “Mr. Potato Head Spirituality.” The columnist was cynically pointing out that many Americans are perfectly happy with cafeteria-style buffet of belief in our lives. To me, I do not view this cynically, rather I think this this reflects our strength as a melting-pot society. We are welcoming and easily integrate new beliefs into our own lexicon. This is a good thing!

Still, we should not be feckless and ignore the fact that our shared cultural stories carry great power. Are we wasting an opportunity by making Santa and the Tooth Fairy our greatest myths? I would like to think we’re capable of something a bit greater when you consider the universality of other great myths created by humans throughout history.

Magical realism was one of my favorite styles of literature. I like Santa because it evokes the same feeling; that magic can happen all around us. This story helps me reconnect with my own childhood. While I can certainly continue to seek better ways to help bring wonder and imagination to my family’s lives, I will tell my sons about Santa in the absence of another idea. I like Santa precisely because it’s the one time of year when others are conspiring to promote magic. If I chose another symbolic story to evoke fantasy and hope in daily life, I might not find such willing and visible support of the idea all around me.

So, on Dasher, Dancer, Prancer…well, you know the rest. Happy Holidays. May there be magic in the light, in the song, in the trees, in the snow, in the faces of family and friends this season. And wherever else you may find it, Santa included.

October 7, 2009

Shaking Up The Snow Globe

Posted by myhomeyoga under Self-study, contentment
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For many reasons, I had been churning inside all summer. So, in an effort to invoke change and progress, I began shaking up my personal world like a snow globe in ways both large and small. Finally, this Fall, some positive changes happened in my life which I believe will put me on the path I have longed for.

Even though I am welcoming these changes, I have suddenly had to make adjustments and choices that caused me great stress. It was not long before my body reacted to this in negative ways. What puzzles me the most is that I am happy that these things are changing, so what is the deal? What is the verdict on change: good or evil?

Changing things in our lives is often necessary, and one can find a plethora of inspiring quotes about how great change is. There is that book about moving the cheese and all that good propaganda telling us that change is good. I used to teach all that stuff in workshops on how to be a “change agent.”

The truth is that most people are no “007 – Agent of Change.” Most of us hate it and are made unhealthy from the stress endured as a result. Yet, we seek it out. Like when we pick up the snow globe, we can hardly resist shaking up our little world. I have often made changes that I probably could have skipped, just because I was feeling restless, frustrated or discouraged. For a while, I consciously resisted change, thinking that I might be just the tiniest bit addicted to it.

I also know that change, when truly needed, can bring us closer to our life’s true path, and that once the storm subsides, the body and stress levels can once again calm down and settle into a more calming routine.

If you find yourself in the middle of the snow storm in your little globe, remember that it will all calm down soon. Remember to breathe, as always. And remember that you do not have to shake it, just in case you forgot that you have a choice.

July 18, 2009

Water

Posted by myhomeyoga under nature, summer
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Summer is easiest time to shift our yoga practice to include more reflection and meditation. Observing nature offers powerful access to our inner voice and to our connection with others. Consider how your practice should change with the seasons, just as your wardrobe and daily habits do, to acclimate to the warmth and added hours of daylight. Can you include asana and breath work that is more supportive during the heat and humidity? Is it possible to remind ourselves of how our human body is made of water and sit listening with eyes closed to the sounds of a river, the lapping of waters at the edge of the lake, or the roar of the ocean surf? Will you abandon your “hot” class and instead opt for the real thing outdoors? Might you find time to meditate? (more…)

July 1, 2009

Excavating the Body Electric

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“I saw the angel in the marble and I carved until I set him free”….Michelangelo

It is easy to obscure our vision and ignore the true beauty and wisdom that lies within. It can be hard work to find the divine within and set it free. We distract ourselves with food, drink, media and emotional patterns that keep our true, shining self hidden. Yoga is how we can tune back in and listen to the voice of the heart, or the “Song of Myself.” In this poem, Whitman sings of the “Body Electric.” While a vigorous practice may not be right for everyone, for me it awakens the body electric and helps me hear my song. (more…)

June 20, 2009

The Ups and Downs

Posted by myhomeyoga under Santosha, brahmacharya, contentment, moderation
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My family has a daily practice when we sit down for dinner together at night (which is not every night, but most, I am proud to say!) We ask each other to share our “ups” and “downs” for the day. Hearing about the small moments, I see a realistic collage of our lives take shape. We find out who has hurt us, what little encounter or moment brought us joy or pride, and most often, we are reminded of the incredible value of coming home after a long day in the world to each other to sit around the table and share a meal.

I value this simple ritual more than I readily admit to myself. I need this conversation with my family to keep me grounded. Without this, it becomes too easy for me to slip into an unbalanced view of my own problems. I have been struggling against myself lately and wrestling with the ego. I have found it hard to practice contentment (santosha) or brahmacharya (moderation.) It was a particularly hard week. I cried over disappointments. I felt frustrated with important relationships. I felt sorry for myself. I was not really into remembering how lucky I am.

Hearing the ups and downs of others helped me regain my perspective. I spent time this week reflecting on the heartbreaks of my friends. With one, I discussed the endless challenges of marriage. I have another set of friends who had a fire in their home. They were lucky not to be home so the kids and pets were OK. They also were incredibly lucky not to lose the entire house, though most of their belongings will not be salvaged. While I am sure everyone has been telling them how “lucky” they are, I wonder if they are fully able to feel lucky? I have to be honest and say that I might not. If I were in their shoes, I might just feel like I had a really lousy break.

This is where the practice of listening to others troubles and triumphs holds great power. At my church we share joys and concerns, and because we say all those things out loud, it becomes the glue that binds our little community. My family’s Ups and Downs time works to that same end and cements our family ties. We gain balance and perspective from each other. We simply state what is going on for us, without having a two-way conversation about it; just listening without advice, judgment or comment.

In the midst of our personal pain and conflicts, we can’t always see how lucky we are. If we share that honestly with those who care, it becomes a burden that can be carried on others’ backs. We need not walk alone. And we don’t need to always remind ourselves of how “lucky” we are. Sometimes we can revel in our own downs, but once we listen to others we realize that their situation might truly be worse, and we know that we can lay our burden down and pick theirs up to carry them for a little while.

May 29, 2009

The Web

Posted by myhomeyoga under Ahisma
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I have been paying attention lately to all the signs and clues that everything is connected. I find evidence in little instances that could certainly be categorized as coincidence. Or, as I choose to believe, I find comfort in the idea that all of us are part of a large web of life.

No matter what faith we profess (if any) we can choose to tune into or ignore our interconnectedness. I do not buy the idea that we have any control over that connection or can harness its power by simple will alone. I take a more cautious view of those who suggest that we can manifest our own reality. I do think we can all benefit from considering whether what we think, say, and do has a corresponding effect on the health of the collective.

If this is the case, ahisma becomes very important. If we allow negative, aggressive or violent thoughts or actions, the ripple effects reverberate and wound everything. If we consciously try to offer ourselves to others through service and kindness, then there is a chance that this will have a corresponding beneficial effect. So, as much as I know I put garbage into the Web, I also try hard to clean house and offset that negative energy. I offer help and honesty to anyone who seeks it from me. I try to see the point of view of others, even if I have a huge blind spot and cannot see myself in the way that others may see me.

No one is perfect. We are all human. Even that total “bleep-bleep” on the highway or at work. Especially that person. Just a reminder as you head into your day. Let’s tread lightly on the Web today because it is fragile. As we all are.

April 28, 2009

Fear Factor

Posted by myhomeyoga under Self-study
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Swine Flu. Really? I now have to be afraid of a pig disease? I thought it was EATING pig that would kill me first.

So, my reactions to this latest fright fest are twofold: my intellectual brain feels scornful of the media hype and nonchalant about any real threat faced by me here in Massachusetts. However, what I find far more interesting upon self-study is that my reptilian brain does feel a tinge of fear. I catch myself running a split second scenario through my head where my child or spouse is stricken my a health emergency and the ER docs are caught scratching their heads. If only they had known about XYZ Syndrome! This is the sort of awful fodder that makes talk shows and magazines successful. The media has become adept at surfacing our nearly unconscious thoughts, and most of the time, we have not even noticed it happened. In these cases, swadhyaya (self-study) can be a powerful tool. Just noticing -without judging- how I show up in life and react gives me insight into my deeply held beliefs and thoughts. In my case, fear can creep in faster than you can say Tamaflu.

The question is, does it matter if I am a little freaked out by what I hear on the news? Over the long term, mental health can either contribute or detract from our physical health. So, yes, it is important to become conscious about choosing a healthier mindset. We need to count the cost of habitually negative thoughts. In this case, a swine or bird flu pandemic provides the excuse to take notice of how easily I can get swept up in a cycle of fear, which pumps nasty stress hormones through my body. Our thoughts move much like water – deliberately seeking the path of least resistance. Like rivulets in the soil that get deeper all the time, thought patterns form grooves in the brain. So, even if my intellectual brain diverts from the path of fear and attempts a rational reaction, my habit of fear has formed a pronounced pattern, which ends up being the road more traveled.

While it not impossible to re-pattern our thoughts and swap unhealthy ones for good ones, it is not easy. We are trying to turn the river that has been a lifetime forming. The best way to use self-study is as a sturdy oar. If you see the rocks in front of you on that river, steer hard around them with all your might.