Swadhyaya (self-study) is an essential part of any yoga practice. One of my teachers invites me to study what comes into my mind when I get rattled (when I am having difficulty in a pose, when I want to rush ahead and not hold and breathe, when I mentally check out.)
I got the chance to do some serious self-study this weekend. I have been training since July to run a 5K race for a local charity for which I serve on the board. On Sunday, I completed the race in under 30 minutes. This is a huge achievement for me because I am not a runner, and because I often lack the discipline needed to train for a race. I spent the entire 29 plus minutes in intense self-study because I was rattled. Oh boy, was I rattled! I was running about a minute faster than my usual time, and my ego was raging all over the place as my competitive spirit could not keep up with my legs and lungs. I did not like being bested by a 12 year old and my friends who had joined me on the run.
The first thing I noticed is how labored the breath becomes when we are rattled physically. When the smooth breath and it’s rhythm are lost, the muscles simply want to check out and negative dialogues fill the brain. I ran much better simply by smiling a little and making every possible effort to breathe smoothly. In the end, I surprised myself by feeling my ego slip into the background and make way for a sense of sheer joy of sprinting down that finish line. I ended the race with a smile and knew that, even when I am rattled, I have the ability to shift the script. Now, to do that at work or when my kids are driving me crazy…
