The other day I went to a yoga class with a teacher who was new to me. As usual, yoga teachers are like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re going to get. In this case, I got a teacher who was a recovering soul who used her teacher’s seat to share her personal life and emotions. I could tell that she needed the feedback and support of her students to continue on her journey.
She talked a lot during practice and began and ended class with what I considered to be serious personal disclosures. Without going into those tidbits lest I inadvertently identify her, it will suffice to say that it fell into the TMI (too much information) category.
Finding that I began to grow agitated the more she shared, I had to begin to exercise non-judgment and compassion immediately. I reminded myself that I did not have to be drawn in by her venting, and I could still find my own quiet emotional space for my practice that day.
This was a good awareness point for the rest of my week. I tried to notice how often I vented to others, and how often I let myself be drawn into negative energy by others who were venting. I realized what irritated me most about the yoga teacher’s venting. It was that she had a captive audience in class. No one had mutually agreed to listen to her venting. They had to.
So, consider before you vent to others. Are you taking advantage of the listener who may feel they have to hear you, or are you inviting them to listen to your issues, offering an implicit covenant that you will return the favor? Are you drawing other people into your energetic and emotional realm without first warning them to strap on their seatbelts for a ride into the Valley of Despair?
There is nothing wrong with healthy, honest sharing. This is how we all see the humanity in each other and learn how to act with greater compassion and tolerance. However, you must remember that communication is mutual exercise. Both partners have to be ready to give and receive. And the listener must remember not to carry the burden of others’ troubles, only to offer a supportive shoulder to lean on as they find their way through pain and suffering.
