February 23, 2009

Yoga is like using the Force, except more beautful.

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My six year old son has just discovered that yoga is cool. This comes as a surprise to me since I have exposed this child to yoga in the womb and have tried mightily since birth to interest him in the practice, to no avail. So what finally captured his interest? Star Wars.

Yes, oddly enough, Yoda has turned him onto yoga. He has become an avid fan of Star Wars in the last few months, and he has apparently been practicing yoga in gym class at school. Somehow, he put the Force together with his personal experience of yoga. How did I hear about this amazing connection? He asked me to practice yoga the other night and told me that “Yoga is like using the Force, except more beautiful.”

How right he is.

 

February 9, 2009

Humility, Shin Splints and Aparigraha

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I am training for my third road race, coming up on St. Patrick’s Day. Since running is a new sport to me, I am still very much a beginner. My approach to adulthood has been to learn a lot of new things. This means that I am often humbled myself by being a rank beginner at many things, which has actually been a good tool for my yogic observations. Running, though has been especially been humbling for me, and has been a very tough exercise in Aparigraha (non-attachment.) In practicing aparigraha, I focus on letting go of my attachment to a particular outcome that I have in mind (in this case, bringing my running time down to 9 min. or less.)

Letting go of my attachment to this outcome is a huge challenge for me because I am a goal-oriented person living in a society that rewards this sort of thinking. But, while I am improving my time, my body has reminded me that I am not a 24 year old anymore. I have been plagued with shin splints in the last two weeks, just as my running time is getting closer to where I want it to be. I may need to back off on my linear progress in order to allow my body time to heal. This will inevitably mean a slower time for my race.

I am loathe to do this, even though I know that this is what is best for me. My daily practice is an opportunity for me to sit with my body and listen to it closely, just after I run. This is the best and strongest voice I can listen to for guidance. I know that I have all the time in the world to run someplace, so I might as well slow down and listen to my body’s reactions to my new sport along the way.

 

February 5, 2009

Rediscovering a short form practice

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In Day 4 of the great experiment. I have had no trouble returning to the mat each day, as long as I am very liberal with myself. If I have 15 min. in my pajamas, that is what I count for my daily practice. If I have an hour to devote – great! I take each day as it presents itself and fit my practice in where it makes natural sense rather than trying to force it. So much of life involves us forcing ourselves to do things, especially ones that we think of as “good for us.” Let my practice be a liberation from that. I will enjoy the benefits it has to offer me, rather than view it as an obligation.

 

February 3, 2009

Tapas – Coming home to a daily practice

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My daily yoga practice has lost it’s mojo. I used to feel like the mat was home for me. I used to travel with a sticky mat wherever I went. I used to start each day with at least a modified sun salutation. After the holidays, I found myself struggling to make it to the mat at all. I opted for a run at the gym or weight lifting. I had fallen for a new and shiny practice, forgetting the deep satisfaction my yoga brings to my life. Like any long term relationship, a daily practice takes care and feeding to stay fresh. So, aptly, for February, the month of love, I will try to fall in love again with my daily practice. I am on day 3 so far and it feels like coming home. I am being realistic, not promising that I’ll spend 90 minutes, or even 30 on the mat each day. I will simply make asana a part of my day. Whenever and wherever it fits. I will attempt to chronicle this courtship via this blog, but I have only committed to one daily practice at at time. Blogging will have to stand in line behind yoga.

 

December 23, 2008

Surrender for the holidays (Ishwara-Pranidhana)

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The holidays present an amazing opportunity to hold the mirror up to yourself and take a good long look. When I think of holding up my mirror, I imagine using one of those big, magnifying mirrors that show every wrinkle and pore on the skin. I want to see myself as I truly behave right now because I know that there are about 100 things in December that challenge me and leave me at less than my best. How do I behave and struggle against what I can’t control – the pressures of work, financial obligations, the jarring shift to winter climate and darkness, the expectations of others, commitments to family and friends? As I practice witness consciousness, I see what happens when I feel under siege. While it is so hard for me to do, I know I can carve out some space to make note of that which I can change about the holidays, and that which I cannot. 

Once I accept and fight less, I can practice surrender to free a bit of myself from struggle and suffering. The space this creates allows me to more fully enjoy the wonderful times that come in the holiday season. The simple joy of lighting candles in the dark and singing with my family. The thrill of the first cross country ski day. The joy of taking time to thank those who make my life special every day. The favorite gifts I give are not to my kids who get everything all year long (gasp!). I really love the little tiny gifts I get for the person who expected nothing. The look on their face when they see that they are remembered is worth whatever small amount I spent. 
I am grateful for the small group of people who have enjoyed yoga with me this year. I am always learning from you, and so I see that I am really a student of yoga, and my teaching is part of that journey. 
Please be safe and peaceful this Holiday.
 

September 29, 2008

Swadhyaya on the Run

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Swadhyaya (self-study) is an essential part of any yoga practice. One of my teachers invites me to study what comes into my mind when I get rattled (when I am having difficulty in a pose, when I want to rush ahead and not hold and breathe, when I mentally check out.) 

I got the chance to do some serious self-study this weekend. I have been training since July to run a 5K race for a local charity for which I serve on the board. On Sunday, I completed the race in under 30 minutes. This is a huge achievement for me because I am not a runner, and because I often lack the discipline needed to train for a race. I spent the entire 29 plus minutes in intense self-study because I was rattled. Oh boy, was I rattled!  I was running about a minute faster than my usual time, and my ego was raging all over the place as my competitive spirit could not keep up with my legs and lungs. I did not like being bested by a 12 year old and my friends who had joined me on the run.
The first thing I noticed is how labored the breath becomes when we are rattled physically. When the smooth breath and it’s rhythm are lost, the muscles simply want to check out and negative dialogues fill the brain.  I ran much better simply by smiling a little and making every possible effort to breathe smoothly.  In the end, I surprised myself by feeling my ego slip into the background and make way for a sense of sheer joy of sprinting down that finish line. I ended the race with a smile and knew that, even when I am rattled, I have the ability to shift the script. Now, to do that at work or when my kids are driving me crazy…
 

September 15, 2008

Satya and Politics

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Conventional wisdom advises that one should never talk politics at work, at a dinner party, but least of all at a yoga class. Yet much of what we seek in yoga applies to our personal politics. Do we believe in the interconnectedness of all beings? Advocate for peace in ourselves and the world? Believe that we have the right to control our own bodies? Respect and revere the divine spark of life at any stage? From a student’s seat on the mat, it seems that modern American yogic philosophy most often assumes there is, as Carville would say, a “we’re right and they’re wrong” line in the sand. Maybe this time we can think not of who is right and wrong in this election. Instead, we can practice satya (truth). Observe how the candidates depart from satya to meet their own ends. Imagine how could a politician become more powerful and connected to voters if he or she actually did speak the truth, nothing but the truth? Perhaps we should vote according to a “truth-o-meter” instead of the typical party line? When the curtain closes in the presidential voting booth this Fall, we will choose between historic firsts: a bi-racial American, a woman, and two other men of great experience. While it may not seem so right now in the heat of the race, each of them has told the truth at some point in their careers, so we need to tune in between the lies, hear what they have to say, and make a choice that rings true to ourselves. 

 

June 28, 2008

Tapas v. Ahisma at the Gym

Posted by myhomeyoga under Discipline, Non-violence
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So, the deal with Ahisma is that we’re not supposed to be aggressive or inflict harm on anyone, especially ourself. Ahem! In case anyone has noticed, if you are trying to get in serious shape, or even if you want to have a power yoga practice, then you are often required to push your body to develop the strength and endurance needed just to keep up. This is an immediate speed bump in practicing the niyamas. Often, if we are striving for a physical ideal, especially in an environment that promotes competition and comparison to peers like a gym, we may be more prone to injury as our mental focus is on pushing ourselves, and our internal dialogue might not be full of motivational ideas, but instead self-recrimination.  Then our friend Tapas enters the mix. Discipline requires that we stick to a fitness routine, right? Even if the lactic acid is still burning a hole in our muscle tissue! 

Maybe I should have asked my new trainer today if she believes that I should take it nice and easy on myself to avoid injury. Perhaps I could have if I hadn’t been sucking wind so badly between atrocious pendulum lunges. I found myself so carried away with my own desire to succeed and push myself that I really went too far and spent the night icing my ankle.
The yogic response to all this is, of course, balance. I have found that just keeping the idea of Tapas in mind each day is what brings me to the mat, or to the gym. Once I am there, then I have to actively notice how ashisma plays into my mindset that day and remain aware of my own urges to push myself beyond the point where I am safely working out with excellent form. The truth is that, even if I can crank out a few more reps, if the form is not on target, I am not working those muscles properly anyway and my efforts are less effective overall. 
Witness consciousness allows us to keep a positive mindset when engaging in anything billed as for self-improvement. That helps eliminate the chance that all that discipline and exertion of will is not really masking some deep desire to change who I am because I don’t like myself. It simply allows me to keep a positive goal in mind, in this case, wellness and fitness. 
 

June 19, 2008

Saucha at Work

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How do we pursue purity in a world filled with abundant choice? Whenever I meet someone who did not grow up in this country, one of the first things that they remark on is how overwhelming our choices are in American grocery stores. Years ago, I worked in advertising, and for a time, I was assigned to a national salad dressing account. As I sat in meetings, I marveled at the fact that really smart professionals spent amazing mental energy discussing how to convince people to choose our Ranch over a competitor’s brand. I wondered why the world needed such a proliferation of options for dressing one’s greens, and at those moments, I sensed that I was not going to be able to continue to devote my own time and talent to promoting something that I really did not believe was adding anything to the universe. This was an exercise in Saucha, and my attempt to strive for purity and clarity in my work. Saucha helps us simplify and crystalize our lives down to the true, shining center, or that which is truly authentic to ourselves.  

 

June 19, 2008

Aparigraha

Posted by myhomeyoga under non-attachment, parenting
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After three long years in preschool, my son participated in his first graduation ceremony today. He wore a construction paper mortarboard and stood on a stage made from a child’s wooden boat. His teachers spoke proudly of him. They remarked on his love of history, science and engineering. They said he was the elder statesman of the preschool. I wildly snapped pictures and probably went way overboard for what is appropriate for such an occasion. To me, this night was another big lesson in aparigraha (non-attachment.) As his parent, it is my job to propel him forward to this night and many others like it. As always, I find it hard to let go of my memories of his plush, plump babyhood; of his fits; of his sweetness; of his incredible intenseness and light. I held off tears until later in the evening. When he saw me, he knew these were tears of joy, pride, and even vanity. He wiped my face and said wisely, “Mom, if I stayed your 4 year old, then I would not be able to do cool things like go to Dinosaur Camp.” He is right. Parents must watch as their kids whisk away like seed pods seeking a spot to take root and grow into a tree. While I do look forward to seeing that tree stand tall, I hate it when I am just soaking in the perfection of that dandelion and suddenly, the wind whips up and before I am ready, all those little whisps fly off, just beyond my reach.  I am just left holding a little green stem, wishing I had that fleeting moment back. 

 

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